Love is All You Need

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I'm cheating a little today.  I used the photo on the left on Bits & Bytes, my writers' group's blog, last week.  Why not?  I like it.  And since today is Valentine's Day and this is my blog, I get to choose. ;)

If honesty is the best policy, then I may be in trouble before the day is over.  You see, I don't put a lot of stock in the holiday being celebrated today.  Why do people need a specified day to say I love you?  Why must there be a holiday to give gifts of love?  Why should expressions of love--whether a whisper, candy, a kiss, dozens of roses, or precious jewels--be given on one day a year?  Shouldn't those be things that happen every day?  Okay, maybe not the dozens of roses, but the rest, for sure.

And another thing.  Why don't we have an I Love Me Day?  After all, one should learn to love oneself before setting out to shower it on others, right?  Or have I just become jaded over the years?

Maybe it's because I have a problem with expecting a gift on a day when not giving one is almost sinful that sours me on the holiday.  Thanks to the flower/candy/negligee/jewelry/greeting card and you-name-it industries that make a bundle on a day drenched in red hearts and mushy sentiments, women have come to expect gifts from the men--and others--in their lives.  (Not trying to be sexist, here.  The same holds true for same-sex couples.)  And men, bless their forgetful hearts, sometimes feel the obligation of going out and finding the gift to buy their way into the good graces of the women who truly love them anyway.

Now, someone out there will probably feel the need to point out that I'm probably this way because I've been soured by divorce and all the angst that accompanies it.  Uh, no.  I was soured before that happened.  Gifts given freely and from the heart are a treasure.  Gifts given because it's expected on Valentine's Day are nothing more than commercialism.

If you've managed to read this far without shouting expletives loud enough that the neighbors have alerted the police, calling me all sorts of names and sticking pins in a doll that mysteriously looks like me, or generally swearing never to read another word I've written, you'll realize that much of what's above is not about love, but about one day a year that's been set aside to make sure it's given the honor it deserves.  One day is not enough, folks.  Love isn't heart-shaped boxes full of calorie-ridden chocolate, flowers that the cat may eat, or a piece of jewelry given because it's expected.  Love is about caring enough about someone else to let them be who they are and loving them for it.  Love is being happy because someone else is happy.

I hope this Valentine's Day leaves you with, not only chocolate, flowers, or other glittering gifts, but a reminder that love really is all you need.

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.” Spike to Buffy (Joss Whedon)

Put On a Happy Face ☺

There's no doubt that the winter holidays are the most stressful time of year for everyone.  Even if you're at the best and think Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's are the best thing that every happened to man--and woman--kind, something unexpected can come along and change that.

Sometimes life comes along and takes the joy out of, not only holidays, but far too many other things, too.  Whether it's seasonal depression, doldrums, the blues, sadness or any other feeling or emotion that's keeping you from not only enjoying the holidays but day-to-day life, there's help.

The key to feeling better lies within each of us.  We can't expect others to make us feel better.  It's something we have to work at ourselves.  So if this holiday season is starting to get you down--or if life in general just isn't what you'd hoped and dreamed it would be--it's past time to do something.

We're lucky to live in the age of technology, where help is at our fingertips.  Here's a list of websites that may help lighten your load or at least get you on the road to a little sunshine in your life.

• Ten Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- from Beliefnet.com  • Common sense help on how to deal with the holiday blues.  Beliefnet encompasses all religions, faiths, and beliefs, so it doesn't matter whether you're celebrating the season of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Saturnalia, Yalda, Diwali, Winter Solstice, Festiva, "other" or none at all, it's a site that welcomes all.
• Ten Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- from Oprah.com • If you're an Oprah fan or follower, here's a slideshow rendition of how to get you through the holidays.
• 5 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- Self.com • So who needs 10 ways when 5 might work?  Let Self Magazine online show you how to feel better when those holiday blues hit.
• Beating the Holiday Blues -- PsychCentral.com • Who better to turn to during these frantic times than those who help people deal with depression year 'round? 
•  How to Beat the Holiday Blues: The Gift of Giving -- iTriage.com • Sometimes the best way to deal with feeling low is to give of oneself.  iTriage can show you the way to feel better about yourself and your life during the toughest season of all.

So now you're wondering why today's picture is a happy face with musical notes.  That's easy!  I've been working on being more positive and putting negativity behind me.  What I've found works especially well for me is music.  After all...

Music has charms to soothe the savage breast 

To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.

William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, Act 1 Scene 1

English dramatist (1670 - 1729)

Here's a short list of what I'm humming, singing, or listening to these days:

• Ding Dong Merrily on High (16th Century French)  Who can feel bad when humming this one?
• Sleigh Ride (composed by Leroy Anderson)  At the top of the list of my favorites and also my Christmas season ringtone. ;) We played this each year in band at my high school Christmas program.
• My Favorite Things (Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II) Brings a smile to the lips as well as to the heart.

Blessings to all for a happy and wonder-filled holiday season!

I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.

George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

Cooling Trends = Winter

Back in July and August, when we were setting record high temperatures, the idea of a frosty winter day sounded delightful.  Yeah.  That's when it was 111+ degrees and the AC couldn't keep up, culminating in a call to the repairman...for me and countless others.

Be careful what you wish for...

It's winter.  No ifs, ands or buts, the cold and frosty season is upon us.  Although it isn't quite noon, the temp is now 18.  That's Fahrenheit.  The first thing I did after sitting at my desk was to look out the window.  There's a dusting of snow on the ground---the first to stay stuck and visible for more than a very short time this winter season.  There's also a thin layer of snow (and ice?) on the windshield of my car, which means that at some point today I'll be scraping.  The bright sunshine may be making it sparkle, but it isn't helping in the melting department.

So I'm looking around, wondering what I should do.  There isn't a room in the house that couldn't stand some straightening, if not some downright cleaning.  But there are other things calling to me.  A just-started book proposal that I hope to have finished by the end of the week is clamoring for attention.  A YA story I began a few weeks ago and was given a thumbs-up by my youngest also awaits.

Instead, I have a cup of green tea I'm enjoying while writing this blog post.  When I've finished, I'll probably do whatever strikes me, as long as it keeps me relatively warm and happy.  There are countless things I should do and even more things I might want to do with this day that's spread out ahead.  Whatever I choose, I'll find a way to enjoy it, just as I will Winter, as it continues to settle in until Spring arrives in the far distant future.

“The hardest work of all is to do nothing.”