Celebrations

April 3 has always been a day of many milestones.  I was married on this date and it's also the birthday of my former sister-in-law.  So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when, twelve years ago today, my agent called to tell me that Silhouette Romance was interested in acquiring what became my very first published book.  After all, my good buddy Kathie DeNosky sold her first book on my birthday the year before. :)  There's more about my first sale and how it all came about over at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.

I'm also quietly celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the day I stopped smoking.  Yes, I've been smoke-free for two years!  This is the second time I quit, but this time it's definitely going to last.

Both of my parents smoked, and although they both quit long before their lifetime ended, I grew up with it, as many in my generation did.  In the 1940s, doctors suggested that women take up cigarette smoking for weight loss.  My addiction didn't begin until some time after the Surgeon General warnings started showing up on cigarette packages.

It was easy to start, but neither time I quit was it anything close to easy.  The first time was aided by group hypnosis and lasted a year and a half.  There's a long and involved story about that, which includes carpal tunnel syndrome and pregnancy, but doesn't have much to do with now.  This time I was helped along by a popular stop-smoking aid for a few weeks.  And to be honest, it isn't too often now that I'm bothered by cravings.

My ex-husband was a smoker, so it wasn't a surprise that all four of our daughters eventually took up the habit, too.  As I type this, two of them have quit for more than 6 months each and a third is nearing the end of her first week. We only have to find a way to convince the youngest that it's time to give it up.

This time when I made the decision to break my addiction--because that's what it is--I was more than ready.  And that's the key to stopping the smoking habit.  You have to WANT to quit.  Without that intense need to break free, it's too easy to fall back into old patterns.

Anybody can quit.  Or in some circles the word "stop" is encouraged, since "quit" carries negative connotations for many people. Whatever word is used, it can be done.  It might not work the first time, or the third time or the eighth time, but each time builds a little more determination.  Eventually, the quitter will succeed.  And, oh, what a lovely feeling that is!

If you're one of the thousands who have given some thought to leaving your smoking behind, check with your doctor and work out the best plan for you.  Just remember the key is had badly you want to do this.  Hey, if I can do it, anybody can. :)  So what are you waiting for?

Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. ~ Yiddish Proverb

Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm a Gemini, and those of us who are under the sign of the Twins are traditionally not comfortable in a rigid, static, seldom changing environment.  That pretty much describes me for much of my life.  If asked, I would say I lose interest in things quickly.  I have a habit of dabbling.  I know just enough about a myriad of things to be dangerous.  That doesn't, however, mean I'm like Ziggy Stardust aka David Bowie over there.  What it does mean is that I can get bored more easily with things than others do.

So there you have it.  Except it isn't so true anymore.  You see, I've caught a case of metathesiophobia.  What's metathesiophobia?  It's the fear of change.  Yeah, really.  And believe me, it took a while to find that word.  Even longer to learn how to spell it!

I'm not exactly sure when this metathes--  uh, fear of change began.  Was it after those four moves in two years that occurred during and after the divorce?  Or is it just a by-product of getting--  uh, maturing?  Whatever it is, it isn't good.  Not good at all.

The world is changing, sometimes at what seems like the speed of light.  Change or the need to change can sneak up on you, then, like a cat, pounce with claws extended to force you to recognize, acknowledge, and accept it.  Yeah, sometimes it is painful, especially if you're not paying attention.

While someone reading this might think that I believe change is bad, that isn't true.  I may be a blonde, but I understand that change is inevitable and, in most cases, good.  Without change, we'd still be living in caves...if we'd survived as humans...and drawing crude pictures on walls while we grunted at each other.

For me at this point in time, it comes down to the changes occurring in the publishing world.  (You can read my thoughts on this at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.)  Here's where I am with that.

• I recognize the changes.  In fact, it would be hard not to.  
• I acknowledge that they're happening.  To not do so would be foolish.
• I accept the changes.  I understand that these changes can be beneficial in some (or many) ways.

But embracing these changes as my own is where I'm stuck.  Believe me, I dislike being stuck even more than I dislike change.  Even more, I hate not being able to find one of those nifty names for it.  I've been dragging my feet about stepping into the world of indie publishing.  There is a name for that, although it doesn't come from the laboratory.  It's FEAR OF FAILURE.  The biggest symptom?  PROCRASTINATION.  

Being the Queen of Procrastination, I'm personally acquainted with what that's all about.  I also know that I'd like to abdicate my throne so I can move forward into this new millennium while I'm still around, not only to enjoy it, but to do it.  And since I've already mastered those three steps above (recognize, acknowledge, and accept), it's time to take action.  

I've agreed to help a friend indie publish one of her books.

Obviously I haven't take that leap of faith in myself enough to do this myself.  But I am working on it.  In fact, as soon as I post this blog, I plan to face my metathesiophobia and start working on my own project.  Hey, what can I lose except the time it will take?  And at my age, putting things off (procrastination) because of fear of failure (or change), is really kind of pitiful.

So if there's something you've been avoiding for whatever emotional reason, come join me in my battle against this crazy fear of change.  Together we can rule the world!!  Or at least make some headway in our own lives.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Where Do I Sit? or Is This Some Kind of Sign?

 Last night, while I was on the phone talking to fellow author and friend Kristi Gold,  I leaned back in my office chair.  To my surprise, it and I kept going, until chair and I were in a reclining position.  It isn't a recliner.  Normally.  It might have tipped on back completely, if it hadn't been for a large plastic bin that awaits a trip to the attic...or storage shed, whichever comes first.

Maybe it was my fault.  Earlier yesterday evening, I'd sprayed WD-40 on the squeak that was driving me crazy at the base of the chair.  While it wasn't my throne--and far from looking like the elaborate chair on the left--a few months ago I'd given some thought to replacing it.  Still, the chair and I had become comfortable with each other and it wasn't in such bad shape that I desperately needed a new chair.  That has changed.

But a new chair isn't a part of my budget.  My bad for not getting one when it might have been, but who knew?  I'd passed on the old office chair to my youngest, and it wouldn't have been right to repossess it.  As if she would've let me.  There's also an oak captain's chair that I purchased at an auction, long, long ago.  I tried it this morning, first thing, but my desk sits high, and I had to reach up for the keyboard.  Not good when there's some CTS involved.

And then I remembered that I'd recently given some thought to using an upholstered bar chair with arms that I used years ago with a drafting table.  So after taking the broken chair out to the shed to await trash pickup day, I brought in the tall chair from the kitchen where it wasn't really being used, except to hold the dishtowel and an extra roll of paper towels.  It's a tad bit narrow and will probably require using my keyboard on top of the desk, instead of on the pullout keyboard drawer, but adjustments are sometimes necessary.  It's comfy, too, which is a requirement when sitting at a desk all day.  And while it doesn't lean or tilt, that may be a good thing.

Even if I don't have a throne and haven't figured out yet if any of this is some kind of sign--such as the need to lose weight--the question of where to sit has been answered.  At least for now.  Maybe a change in chair will bring a change in luck.  I do like that idea!

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~ Robert C. Gallagher