Love is All You Need

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I'm cheating a little today.  I used the photo on the left on Bits & Bytes, my writers' group's blog, last week.  Why not?  I like it.  And since today is Valentine's Day and this is my blog, I get to choose. ;)

If honesty is the best policy, then I may be in trouble before the day is over.  You see, I don't put a lot of stock in the holiday being celebrated today.  Why do people need a specified day to say I love you?  Why must there be a holiday to give gifts of love?  Why should expressions of love--whether a whisper, candy, a kiss, dozens of roses, or precious jewels--be given on one day a year?  Shouldn't those be things that happen every day?  Okay, maybe not the dozens of roses, but the rest, for sure.

And another thing.  Why don't we have an I Love Me Day?  After all, one should learn to love oneself before setting out to shower it on others, right?  Or have I just become jaded over the years?

Maybe it's because I have a problem with expecting a gift on a day when not giving one is almost sinful that sours me on the holiday.  Thanks to the flower/candy/negligee/jewelry/greeting card and you-name-it industries that make a bundle on a day drenched in red hearts and mushy sentiments, women have come to expect gifts from the men--and others--in their lives.  (Not trying to be sexist, here.  The same holds true for same-sex couples.)  And men, bless their forgetful hearts, sometimes feel the obligation of going out and finding the gift to buy their way into the good graces of the women who truly love them anyway.

Now, someone out there will probably feel the need to point out that I'm probably this way because I've been soured by divorce and all the angst that accompanies it.  Uh, no.  I was soured before that happened.  Gifts given freely and from the heart are a treasure.  Gifts given because it's expected on Valentine's Day are nothing more than commercialism.

If you've managed to read this far without shouting expletives loud enough that the neighbors have alerted the police, calling me all sorts of names and sticking pins in a doll that mysteriously looks like me, or generally swearing never to read another word I've written, you'll realize that much of what's above is not about love, but about one day a year that's been set aside to make sure it's given the honor it deserves.  One day is not enough, folks.  Love isn't heart-shaped boxes full of calorie-ridden chocolate, flowers that the cat may eat, or a piece of jewelry given because it's expected.  Love is about caring enough about someone else to let them be who they are and loving them for it.  Love is being happy because someone else is happy.

I hope this Valentine's Day leaves you with, not only chocolate, flowers, or other glittering gifts, but a reminder that love really is all you need.

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.” Spike to Buffy (Joss Whedon)

'Tis the Season for Having the Nasties

I hab uh code.  (translated: I have a cold.)

I feel a lot like the little girl in the picture over <--there  and wish it would go away so I could feel better.  No fever, just a whole bunch of sneezing and blowing and just all around feeling punk.  What a way to start the new year, huh?  I guess I should be thankful that this didn't start until two days ago, so I was feeling fine for New Year's Eve and Day.  Well, pretty much.

New Year's Eve was enjoyable and spent at my oldest daughter's house.  The younger set karaoked to the Glee sing-along on Wii, while the rest of us sat back and provided encouragement.  For me, going out to a wild party to end and start the year took a nosedive years--lots of years--ago.  I don't mind.

Come New Year's Day morning, and I was awakened at 8:15 a.m.  by the guys putting new siding on my house.  It just so happened that they were working on the spot on exactly the other side of the wall from my bed.  Thankfully, I hadn't had any alcohol the night before, so there wasn't a bit of hangover, but that didn't mean it was pleasant.  They finished on Monday, and I breathed a big sigh of relief. Very little was accomplished over the four days they were working here.

Not only was there noise and a sneezy cold, but my car battery kept dying overnight.  My son-in-law was kind enough to get and install a new starter, and we thought that was the end of it...until the next morning (yesterday), when the battery was dead as a door nail again.  The battery is now replaced with a new one, but I'm still holding my breath.

The moral of the past few days is that we usually manage somehow to get through most of the hugely irritating things that come along and happen to us on what can sometimes seem a daily basis.  Today is quiet.  I spent time yesterday evening with my favorite critique group and will be talking with my bestest writing buddies this afternoon.  I couldn't ask for better friends and am blessed to have them in my life.  Car problems or no car problems, cold and sneezing or no cold and sneezing, life happens.  Somehow we manage to move on and find the sunshine.

Here's hoping everyone's 2012 is filled with sunshine and rainbows and the very best life can offer.

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.

What Do YOU Want For Christmas?

When I was a child, I was a huge Shirley Temple fan.  While her movies had been made before I was born, most of them played (and replayed) on TV when I was growing up.  I never failed to miss one, knew the words to the songs, and admit that it's impossible to choose my favorite among the many.  But one came to mind a few, and I tracked it down on YouTube (of course!).  So here's my gift to you in the season of giving.

May this Christmas bring you the peace of the season.

'Tis the Season for Much

What a busy time of year, and the craziness isn't over.  Christmas is only 3 days away, it's Winter Solstice--the shortest day of the year--and it's also the 10th birthday of my oldest granddaughter.

That's Scarlett on the left when she was a few hours old.  The doctor was certain she wouldn't arrive until after the first of the year, but what babies waiting to enter the world listen to doctors?  Her mom made a late entrance.  I'd begun thinking I'd be pregnant for forever, but Sabrina, Scarlett's mom, finally decided it might not be so bad out in the world, after all.  Obviously Scarlett didn't take after her mom.

This evening will be the first of the family get-togethers over the next week and a half, as we gather to celebrate Scarlett's birthday.  I hear there's pizza on the menu, and of course the obligatory cake.  And, yes, it's hard to believe that there'll be ten candles on that cake.  Time goes by quickly.

I can't imagine not seeing my g-kids and sharing not only in the milestones of birthdays and holidays, but the little things.  That makes me one of the lucky ones.  I've been able to watch them grow from the beginning.   Each one of them is special in his or her own way, and talent of all kinds abounds.  Who knows what the future will bring for each of them?  Good things, I'm wishing.

Enjoy these days ushering in the final holidays of the year!  If you're lucky like me, give the kids and grandkids extra hugs, and treasure the time you have with them.  It may be the season to be busy, but it's also the season to make special memories.  Enjoy making yours!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.- Anonymous 

The Holiday Push

I was feeling a bit like the dogs on the left, slugging along and not much concerned with anything special.  And then I looked at my calendar and realized there are only 12 days until Christmas.  Less than two weeks.  Just around the corner.  Will be here before you know it.

Is your heart beating faster, making your blood rush a little?  I'm picking my jaw up from the floor where it dropped.  You've I've got to be kidding!

I spent a wonderful evening with my critique group last night at the home of Love Inspired author Patricia Davids.  She should be sick of me, by now.  I was there, along with many friends from our writers group, on Sunday for our annual Christmas party.  Her house is beautifully decorated for the holidays!  I'm green with envy.  Or would be if I was into the holidays.  Not that I'm the Grinch or completely into the Bah!  Humbug! thing.  I've spent a lot of years decorating and cooking and shopping and wrapping and...

It's taken a few years, but I've finally abdicated my role of holiday hostess in the family.  As it is now, I might fix the turkey and another dish or two, and I'll help set the table and clean up after the meal, but I don't have to worry if there's going to be room for all 14 (gasp!) of us or if dinner is going to be late/cold/wilted.  I don't have to clean.  I don't have to decorate.  It's not that I don't miss all those things, especially the holiday decorations, because I do.  It's just that there are other things that have become more important, such as not worrying or having to rush. When I used to wish for a small slice of peace, now I get to enjoy the big chunks. I like that.

On Friday night, my youngest daughter and I will attend the local ice skating show.  This is the third year that Scarlett, my oldest granddaughter, has been a part of it.  It's fun.  It's a bit cold.  And it's always a pleasure to enjoy the local talent, from the tiniest little skater who has mastered staying upright, to the competition skaters who are definitely professionals.

Twelve more days.  Yes, the holiday push is definitely on.  And while many will be hustling and bustling around, making sure everything is perfect, I'll be enjoying the fruits and sparkles of their labor.  Maybe next year I'll do a little more.  Or maybe I'll enjoy this year so much that I won't. ;)

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.  - Anonymous 

Put On a Happy Face ☺

There's no doubt that the winter holidays are the most stressful time of year for everyone.  Even if you're at the best and think Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's are the best thing that every happened to man--and woman--kind, something unexpected can come along and change that.

Sometimes life comes along and takes the joy out of, not only holidays, but far too many other things, too.  Whether it's seasonal depression, doldrums, the blues, sadness or any other feeling or emotion that's keeping you from not only enjoying the holidays but day-to-day life, there's help.

The key to feeling better lies within each of us.  We can't expect others to make us feel better.  It's something we have to work at ourselves.  So if this holiday season is starting to get you down--or if life in general just isn't what you'd hoped and dreamed it would be--it's past time to do something.

We're lucky to live in the age of technology, where help is at our fingertips.  Here's a list of websites that may help lighten your load or at least get you on the road to a little sunshine in your life.

• Ten Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- from Beliefnet.com  • Common sense help on how to deal with the holiday blues.  Beliefnet encompasses all religions, faiths, and beliefs, so it doesn't matter whether you're celebrating the season of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Saturnalia, Yalda, Diwali, Winter Solstice, Festiva, "other" or none at all, it's a site that welcomes all.
• Ten Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- from Oprah.com • If you're an Oprah fan or follower, here's a slideshow rendition of how to get you through the holidays.
• 5 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues -- Self.com • So who needs 10 ways when 5 might work?  Let Self Magazine online show you how to feel better when those holiday blues hit.
• Beating the Holiday Blues -- PsychCentral.com • Who better to turn to during these frantic times than those who help people deal with depression year 'round? 
•  How to Beat the Holiday Blues: The Gift of Giving -- iTriage.com • Sometimes the best way to deal with feeling low is to give of oneself.  iTriage can show you the way to feel better about yourself and your life during the toughest season of all.

So now you're wondering why today's picture is a happy face with musical notes.  That's easy!  I've been working on being more positive and putting negativity behind me.  What I've found works especially well for me is music.  After all...

Music has charms to soothe the savage breast 

To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.

William Congreve, The Mourning Bride, Act 1 Scene 1

English dramatist (1670 - 1729)

Here's a short list of what I'm humming, singing, or listening to these days:

• Ding Dong Merrily on High (16th Century French)  Who can feel bad when humming this one?
• Sleigh Ride (composed by Leroy Anderson)  At the top of the list of my favorites and also my Christmas season ringtone. ;) We played this each year in band at my high school Christmas program.
• My Favorite Things (Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II) Brings a smile to the lips as well as to the heart.

Blessings to all for a happy and wonder-filled holiday season!

I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.

George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

Thanksgiving Blessings

Blessings to all of you on this Thanksgiving Day and throughout the year.

Just...Relax

While the weather isn't favorable for sitting outside in shorts and a tank top, with bare feet propped up on a porch railing, that doesn't mean we can't relax.

Yesterday at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer, I blogged about writing through the holidays.  Not only are there thousands of writers participating in National Novel Writers Month (NaNoWriMo) and trying to conquer the 50,000 word goal, but there are many writers who are on deadlines and don't have the luxury of putting either their writing or the holidays aside.

Those who aren't writers need to also remember to take a few moments to find a small sea of calm, whether it's holiday time or just day to day.  We live in such a fast-paced world that we forget that we deserve a little downtime or even pampering, now and then.  So this is a reminder to readers and myself to take a little time, as much as we need and can find, to relax.

There are as many ways to relax as there are people relaxing.

• Some spend time watching television
• Some listen to music
• Some, as in the photo above, sit and enjoy the quiet and beauty of nature
• Some take a walk
• Some read a book
• Some work on a hobby
• Some take a drive in the country
• Some go fishing
• Some do yoga
• Some meditate
• Some spend time with children
• Some swim
• Some play golf or other sports
• Some play with pets
• Some even sleep

Even if you don't have time for any of the above or your own favorite relaxing, you can always stop, close your eyes, take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds, then slowly let it out.  Don't stop with just once.  Do it several times, until the tension is gone from your body and your mind has stopped swirling with thoughts.

Oh, and by the way, if your weather is as great as it is in the photo above, congratulations!  I'm a bit envious.  We're still dealing with a cold spell that blew in--and I do mean blew in--late Saturday afternoon.  That beautiful sky I blogged about Saturday morning?  It didn't last all day.  C'est la vie. ;)

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck  

Another Halloween and Candy, Candy, Candy!

Halloween was quiet here, with very little candy around.  But when four of the grandkids arrived to show off their costumes as they ended their evening, it was evident that they'd made quite a haul.  It was tempting to ask if they'd share, but there were two reasons I didn't.  First, I don't need the candy.  Second, they earned it and deserve to enjoy every last piece...in moderation. :)
And don't they look cute and/or scary in their costumes!

Payton, age 2, as a devil.  This was her first "real" year of trick-or-treating, and she really enjoyed it, in spite of getting tired before everyone else was ready to quit.

Jaxon, age 4, as a giraffe.  He wasn't crazy about the hood, but at least it kept him warm on a chilly Halloween night.

Alexandria aka Allie, almost 9, as a Barbie rocker who looks like she's more than ready to get going.

Scarlett, almost 10, as a zombie fairy and trying her best to stay in character with that bored, dead look.

Gavin, age 7, is taller than the other two and was excited to be a ninja again.  This time he left the sword at home, so I guess he wasn't expecting trouble.


It's hard to believe that we're already talking Thanksgiving.  I'm just glad I didn't snitch any of that candy.  Although Mallory, my youngest, and I have been walking with Sabrina, my oldest, and Scarlett four or five times a week, we have enough to work off without the added calories of Halloween goodies!  Looking forward to Turkey Day, though, and all the good food it involves.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Ask my daughters and they'll tell tales of Halloween when they were young.  One year there was a tornado warning issued as we were trick-or-treating.  Another was a total washout, thanks to rain and flooding, but we tried anyway--I'm still amazed that we weren't washed away.  Their costumes were never store-bought.  I made them all, sometimes from whatever was available.  That's the fun way.

Although there are a lot of years between my daughters' Halloweens and mine, many of my memories are just as clear and strong as theirs are.  My next door neighbors included 3 children, all older than me and all accustomed to keeping an eye on me.  They were more siblings to me than neighbors, and every Halloween for years and years, they took me trick-or-treating.


One of the most memorable times was when I was quite small.  It was late.  We finished most of our block and beyond and were headed home.  While we waited on the corner to cross the street to my house, two cars collided in front of us.  It was loud, it was scary, and I remember screaming, bringing most of the neighborhood outside.  A bit traumatic for a three-year-old.  (I'm 2nd from the left in the clown costume.  Oldest of the neighbors is the tall, pioneer in the back.)

Then there was the Halloween of the Witch.   My mother made my costume that year, as she nearly always did, and for some strange reason I chose to be a pilgrim.  With the dark grey dress and white apron, collar and hat, I also wore a wig--yellow hair, two braids, much like a Dutch girl.  By that time we'd moved on to tricking and treating in the surrounding blocks. We neighborhood kids spent a lot of time riding our bikes on the block north of us, around the "circle drive" where the street dead-ended after they built the big highway.  Except on Halloween this particular year, there was a witch sneaking around the side of one of the houses near there, cackling at us and scaring me to the point of screaming and running for home, as fast as I could.  By the time I arrived, I was crying and could barely explain to my dad about the scary witch.  The first thing he did was to ask where my hat and wig were.  In my haste to get away from the witch, I'd lost them.  Too scared to face the witch again, I begged my dad to go with me to find my missing costume pieces.  He did, but by the time we arrived near the witch's house, she was gone.  We retrieved my hat and wig and returned home.  But I'll never forget how scared I was that night.  The poor neighbor who'd dressed as the witch never did it again.

By the time I hit junior high and high school, my family had moved to a small town, where Halloween had become famous for trouble.  It didn't take long for the new grocery store owners to realize they needed to hide the cartons of eggs early in the day.  My senior year, I rode with my best friends as we drove around town, and for the rest of the winter, that car smelled of rotten eggs whenever the heater was turned on.  We never threw a single egg.  Bales of hay were "borrowed" from neighboring farms and dumped in the middle of the main street, making driving...interesting.  Smashed pumpkins (not the band) were often stolen and joined the hay bales in the street.  There were a few times when those bales were set on fire.  In years past, outhouses were tipped over.  By the time I was in high school, it became so bad that the sheriff deputies--some on horseback--came to town to try to keep the craziness within bounds. There were a couple of years that I participated as a crazy by riding in the back of a pickup truck and holding on for dear life.  Then there was the five feet deep hole ("Devil's Hole") I fell into while running in the dark...

Is it any wonder that I love Halloween?  And apparently my daughters do, too, because they still enjoy putting together and wearing costumes as they take their own families trick-or-treating.  Me?  I just sit back and enjoy my favorite holiday in peace and quiet, along with an appropriate movie or two.

Hope you and yours have a wonderful and non-scary Happy Halloween!!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like....? (rant warning)

Is it October and nearing Halloween?  Or is it after Thanksgiving with Christmas less than a month away?  I ask because, as others have noticed and mentioned on other social media, Christmas items are appearing a little earlier in stores each year.  This year as the Halloween decorations were beginning to adorn stores (a week or two after the huge bags of Halloween candy was appearing on store shelves) and well before the back-to-school items disappeared, Christmas decorations were also sneaking their way into stores.

While I understand that some people enjoy shopping early for Christmas to avoid the hassle of crowds and items being unavailable, I don't understand the  necessity of buying decorations--both outdoor and indoor--too early, such as weeks and weeks prior to Thanksgiving.  Is it because they see things they want and are afraid they'll be gone in a week or two?  Because if it is, they're missing 2 things:  A) If you can't find something closer to Christmas, you weren't supposed to have it in the first place, and B) What about sales?

While I enjoy a pretty tree and tinsel and flickering lights framing roofs and houses, I'd rather save the Christmas decorations for the month of December. Mid-December would suit me fine.  Why?

• Putting up a tree of any size means moving things.  Big things.  Like furniture. 
• Children (the small variety) and pets tend to enjoy UNdecorating more than I ever enjoyed decorating. Not to mention breakage and danger.
• I can only take so much HO HO HO in one year, and its a cinch it'll be over come Dec. 26, so that means shaving off at the beginning.
• No matter what the size of tree, it always blocks my view of the TV...although I don't get a chance to watch a whole lot of shows.
• Taking down the tree is a lot less fun that putting it up was.

My family may tell you that when it comes to Christmas, I lean more toward Scrooge than Tiny Tim.  Maybe it's because I've been around longer and accept reality, which no longer includes racking up a credit card bill that will take most of a year to pay off.  Or maybe it's because, to me, Christmas is a matter of heart, not blinking lights and tinsel.  I'd rather see kindness and love than Santa with reindeer on the rooftop, lit up like the landing strip at the airport.  Merchants, however, don't see it that way, as their eyes light up with dollar signs each time I buy just one more Christmasy thing.  Instead of thinking $$$  (how much we'll need and how much the stores will make), let's fill our hearts with peace and joy by holding off just a little longer and letting anticipation grow, instead of ho hum boredom.

Happy, Merry Hallowmas!