Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm a Gemini, and those of us who are under the sign of the Twins are traditionally not comfortable in a rigid, static, seldom changing environment.  That pretty much describes me for much of my life.  If asked, I would say I lose interest in things quickly.  I have a habit of dabbling.  I know just enough about a myriad of things to be dangerous.  That doesn't, however, mean I'm like Ziggy Stardust aka David Bowie over there.  What it does mean is that I can get bored more easily with things than others do.

So there you have it.  Except it isn't so true anymore.  You see, I've caught a case of metathesiophobia.  What's metathesiophobia?  It's the fear of change.  Yeah, really.  And believe me, it took a while to find that word.  Even longer to learn how to spell it!

I'm not exactly sure when this metathes--  uh, fear of change began.  Was it after those four moves in two years that occurred during and after the divorce?  Or is it just a by-product of getting--  uh, maturing?  Whatever it is, it isn't good.  Not good at all.

The world is changing, sometimes at what seems like the speed of light.  Change or the need to change can sneak up on you, then, like a cat, pounce with claws extended to force you to recognize, acknowledge, and accept it.  Yeah, sometimes it is painful, especially if you're not paying attention.

While someone reading this might think that I believe change is bad, that isn't true.  I may be a blonde, but I understand that change is inevitable and, in most cases, good.  Without change, we'd still be living in caves...if we'd survived as humans...and drawing crude pictures on walls while we grunted at each other.

For me at this point in time, it comes down to the changes occurring in the publishing world.  (You can read my thoughts on this at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.)  Here's where I am with that.

• I recognize the changes.  In fact, it would be hard not to.  
• I acknowledge that they're happening.  To not do so would be foolish.
• I accept the changes.  I understand that these changes can be beneficial in some (or many) ways.

But embracing these changes as my own is where I'm stuck.  Believe me, I dislike being stuck even more than I dislike change.  Even more, I hate not being able to find one of those nifty names for it.  I've been dragging my feet about stepping into the world of indie publishing.  There is a name for that, although it doesn't come from the laboratory.  It's FEAR OF FAILURE.  The biggest symptom?  PROCRASTINATION.  

Being the Queen of Procrastination, I'm personally acquainted with what that's all about.  I also know that I'd like to abdicate my throne so I can move forward into this new millennium while I'm still around, not only to enjoy it, but to do it.  And since I've already mastered those three steps above (recognize, acknowledge, and accept), it's time to take action.  

I've agreed to help a friend indie publish one of her books.

Obviously I haven't take that leap of faith in myself enough to do this myself.  But I am working on it.  In fact, as soon as I post this blog, I plan to face my metathesiophobia and start working on my own project.  Hey, what can I lose except the time it will take?  And at my age, putting things off (procrastination) because of fear of failure (or change), is really kind of pitiful.

So if there's something you've been avoiding for whatever emotional reason, come join me in my battle against this crazy fear of change.  Together we can rule the world!!  Or at least make some headway in our own lives.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. ~ Theodore Roosevelt