Love is All You Need

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I'm cheating a little today.  I used the photo on the left on Bits & Bytes, my writers' group's blog, last week.  Why not?  I like it.  And since today is Valentine's Day and this is my blog, I get to choose. ;)

If honesty is the best policy, then I may be in trouble before the day is over.  You see, I don't put a lot of stock in the holiday being celebrated today.  Why do people need a specified day to say I love you?  Why must there be a holiday to give gifts of love?  Why should expressions of love--whether a whisper, candy, a kiss, dozens of roses, or precious jewels--be given on one day a year?  Shouldn't those be things that happen every day?  Okay, maybe not the dozens of roses, but the rest, for sure.

And another thing.  Why don't we have an I Love Me Day?  After all, one should learn to love oneself before setting out to shower it on others, right?  Or have I just become jaded over the years?

Maybe it's because I have a problem with expecting a gift on a day when not giving one is almost sinful that sours me on the holiday.  Thanks to the flower/candy/negligee/jewelry/greeting card and you-name-it industries that make a bundle on a day drenched in red hearts and mushy sentiments, women have come to expect gifts from the men--and others--in their lives.  (Not trying to be sexist, here.  The same holds true for same-sex couples.)  And men, bless their forgetful hearts, sometimes feel the obligation of going out and finding the gift to buy their way into the good graces of the women who truly love them anyway.

Now, someone out there will probably feel the need to point out that I'm probably this way because I've been soured by divorce and all the angst that accompanies it.  Uh, no.  I was soured before that happened.  Gifts given freely and from the heart are a treasure.  Gifts given because it's expected on Valentine's Day are nothing more than commercialism.

If you've managed to read this far without shouting expletives loud enough that the neighbors have alerted the police, calling me all sorts of names and sticking pins in a doll that mysteriously looks like me, or generally swearing never to read another word I've written, you'll realize that much of what's above is not about love, but about one day a year that's been set aside to make sure it's given the honor it deserves.  One day is not enough, folks.  Love isn't heart-shaped boxes full of calorie-ridden chocolate, flowers that the cat may eat, or a piece of jewelry given because it's expected.  Love is about caring enough about someone else to let them be who they are and loving them for it.  Love is being happy because someone else is happy.

I hope this Valentine's Day leaves you with, not only chocolate, flowers, or other glittering gifts, but a reminder that love really is all you need.

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.” Spike to Buffy (Joss Whedon)