Diary of a Mad Romance Writer

New address!!!

Diary of a Mad Romance Writer

Change: Just What the Gemini Ordered

Yes, I'm a Gemini, known for changing things at a moments notice, quite often on a whim.  And since I'm also a woman...  Double Whammy.

For anyone who might not be aware, I have another blog where I share things I've learned and am still learning about writing.  I created this blog, scribbles, on a whim to share thoughts on whatever struck me.  It became a little harder and more work than I'd thought.  Once again, I've learned that the best laid plans...  and all that.  But learning is growing, so I don't feel bad.  The best lessons are learned the hard way, and although this one wasn't all that hard, I've made the decision to incorporate scribbles into my Diary of a Mad Romance Writer blog.

What does that mean?  It means I will have one blogging location.

What about the blog posts and comments here?  They'll be absorbed into Diary of a Mad Romance Writer, so nothing will be lost.

When will this change take place?  Over the weekend, so by May 21, this blog will cease to be used.

Thanks for stopping by!  Hope to see you "over there." ☺

Ahhhhh, Spring!

According to the weather guys, we're in for some bad weather here in southcentral Kansas over the next few days.  For once, they have it right.  Thunder is booming, lightning is flashing (the cable & tv went off), and raindrops are sliding swiftly down the window by my desk.  I checked the radar when it first started, maybe an hour ago, and the storm isn't small.  We're about halfway through it, but most of the worst is past.  Just a spring thunderstorm.

We're hoping those weather guys don't have everything right, because they're talking the likelihood of tornadoes tomorrow afternoon and evening and also on Saturday.  It's to start in the western part of the state and move eastward.  And if we're going to have this weather, so might the states to our east.  Look out Missouri and Illinois!

While Kansas has always been known for its tornadoes, thanks to The Wizard of Oz, it isn't the only state or even the region that deals with them.  The times--along with weather patterns--are changing.

A report finds that the traditional boundaries of Tornado Alley - which has centered on the Plains states of Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska and South Dakota- should be expanded to include much of the Midwest and Deep South, because the frequency and severity of tornadoes in those areas is much more widespread than commonly believed.  (from an article from USA Today about Tornado Alley, shared on WZZM in Michigan)

Tornadoes have always been a part of my life.  I've learned to respect them.  If the siren blows or a warming is issued via TV or radio, I know what to do, and I do it.  And the two reasons below are why.

When I was not quite four years old, the deadliest of the tornadoes in Kansas struck Udall, a small town in the southeast part of the state.  I heard that tornado as my mom and I were driving home to the city from the graduation of a cousin in another small town.  It's one of those things---along with bits of memories of the graduation ceremony---that I'll always remember.  The tornado went through Blackwell, Oklahoma, first, on its way into Kansas, killing 20 people there.  In Udall, a town of just over 600 people, 76 died (20 were children) and more than 200 were injured.

On April 26, 1991, another tornado ripped through my area of state.  My oldest daughter was with her fifth grade class as the annual Renaissance Fair, held at one of the local colleges. She remembers her teacher mentioning that the air felt strange that day.  By 5:15 pm, the school trip was over and students were home again.  That was when storm chasers spotted the storm with tornado near Argonia, KS that eventually cut a southwest to northeast path that deposited rain and hail at the farm where we lived, then moved on and dropped again just east of the town of Clearwater, then built as it went through Haysville, into south Wichita and McConnell AFB.  At 6:35 pm, the F5 tornado hit Andover, KS, northeast of Wichita, wiping out homes and lives in the Golden Spur Mobile Home park.  Videos (most are on YouTube) taken of the storm are mind-boggling.

Just one simple caveat.  If you've seen the movie Twister, there's a lot of made-up junk in it.  Strapping yourself to a metal pipe will more than likely find you with a pipe wrapped around your neck...if you manage to somehow survive.  Not to mention that tornadoes do not sound like a camel moan played backwards, as they used in the movie.

So I'll go dig out my weather radio, watch the radar via computer, and keep an eye on the sky, ready to go to my daughter's house, three blocks away, where there's a basement, if needed.  Or I'll simply bend over and kiss my a$$ goodbye.  Here's hoping all of you stay safe from Mother Nature's Spring Wrath. :)

Laurence: That one we encountered back there was a strong F2, possibly an F3. 

Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some 4's. 

Haynes: That would be sweet! 

Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficently. 

Melissa: Is there an F5? 

[Everyone goes dead silent] 

Melissa: What would that be like? 

Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The Finger of God.

~~ Twister (the movie) 1996

I'm Hooked -- GoT Got Me

While channel surfing late one night last summer, I came upon a title I'd seen mentioned both in books and in television.  George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones.  I'll admit that I'm not one who watches or even reads a lot of fantasy.  Not that I don't like it, but both my reading and TV viewing is somewhat limited.  There just aren't enough hours in the day to do even half of what I want.  I'm also not into shows with a lot of medieval battles, either, so GoT wasn't really something I was itching to try.

So back to the channel surfing and my intro into a truly unusual and fascinating (to me) series. I was lured in when I caught a glimpse of platinum-haired Daenerys "Dany" Targaryen walking into the blaze of the huge funeral pyre for Khal Drogo, her deceased warlord husband, and disappeared.  Cut to the next morning, after the fire had died out:  Dany (or Khaleesi, as she'd come to be called by the Dothraki) is still alive, sitting near the remains of what had been her husband, her clothing burned, her face smudged with ashes and soot.  A small crowd of the faithful are watching what was obviously a miracle that she'd survived.  But that wasn't all.  Just over her right shoulder, we see something slowly moving.  The small, parrot-sized dragon that appeared was what put the finishing touch on a mesmerizing scene...and the end of the first season.

The end?!!  No, it couldn't be!  But it was.  That was Friday night.  On Saturday, I did a quick look to see if I could catch more of it on HBO OnDemand.  Lo and behold, I could!  I had enough time to watch two episodes, and as I checked how many were left, I learned that Sunday--the next day--was the last day the series would be run.  Huh?  Oh, good grief.  But my daughter was gone, I had until midnight on Sunday, and the TV was all mine, so I watched the other eight episodes, one after the other, to the end.  I was hooked.  Totally.  And then I learned that the second season wouldn't begin again until April.

April?!!  Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhh

So here we are at April, and I wish I'd taken the time to watch season one again, just as a reminder of who was who and what was what, because after all this time, I've forgotten far too much.  There's a lot to learn about the fictional universe of Westeros and the people and beings who inhabit it.  That alone might very well might require reading the Song of Fire and Ice series of novels.

Because Game of Thrones is an HBO series, there's a lot of graphic scenes and images, sometimes a bit more graphic than my comfort zone usually allows.  Those haven't stopped me.  I've learned to blink when a head is lobbed off with a sword. (Ned, I do miss your sanity. sniff)  I've learned to watch scenes in the brothel without giving it much thought.  And I've learned to know which characters to love, hate, and who not trust.

The story is totally engaging, complete with gore and sex.  The characters are fully written, with human qualities of good and bad in all of them.  The location shots are mind-blowing, thanks to the 7 Kingdoms of Westeros, each different, ranging from forests to deserts to ice-covered lands.  Those alone are enough to take a viewers breath away.

If I've tickled your curiosity, or if you've always wondered what all this Game of Thrones talk is about, here's your chance to get hooked like me.  Game of Thrones Season Finale - Last Scene (Because of the graphic nature of this scene, I'm posting only the link, instead of the clip.)

All this watching is going to be tricky, because Mallory and I have become huge fans of GCB (I adore Annie Potts!), which is on at the same time as GoT on Sunday night.  Thankfully, HBO has multi-viewings of their best shows, and ABC shows can be seen online and, thanks to our cable provider, On Demand.

Yes, life is good!

Game of Thrones
The only hour each week in which we really truly feel alive has arrived! Tonight's episode of Game of Thrones, entitled "The Night Lands," involves Theon's return home to deal with his father; Tyrion's ruffling of feathers around the royal court; Arya's discovery by Gendry; and Davos' plea for naval assistance from a notorious pirate! (Sigh.) Love this show so much.  - Price Peterson, TV.com, on Episode 2, Season 2.

Celebrations

April 3 has always been a day of many milestones.  I was married on this date and it's also the birthday of my former sister-in-law.  So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when, twelve years ago today, my agent called to tell me that Silhouette Romance was interested in acquiring what became my very first published book.  After all, my good buddy Kathie DeNosky sold her first book on my birthday the year before. :)  There's more about my first sale and how it all came about over at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.

I'm also quietly celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the day I stopped smoking.  Yes, I've been smoke-free for two years!  This is the second time I quit, but this time it's definitely going to last.

Both of my parents smoked, and although they both quit long before their lifetime ended, I grew up with it, as many in my generation did.  In the 1940s, doctors suggested that women take up cigarette smoking for weight loss.  My addiction didn't begin until some time after the Surgeon General warnings started showing up on cigarette packages.

It was easy to start, but neither time I quit was it anything close to easy.  The first time was aided by group hypnosis and lasted a year and a half.  There's a long and involved story about that, which includes carpal tunnel syndrome and pregnancy, but doesn't have much to do with now.  This time I was helped along by a popular stop-smoking aid for a few weeks.  And to be honest, it isn't too often now that I'm bothered by cravings.

My ex-husband was a smoker, so it wasn't a surprise that all four of our daughters eventually took up the habit, too.  As I type this, two of them have quit for more than 6 months each and a third is nearing the end of her first week. We only have to find a way to convince the youngest that it's time to give it up.

This time when I made the decision to break my addiction--because that's what it is--I was more than ready.  And that's the key to stopping the smoking habit.  You have to WANT to quit.  Without that intense need to break free, it's too easy to fall back into old patterns.

Anybody can quit.  Or in some circles the word "stop" is encouraged, since "quit" carries negative connotations for many people. Whatever word is used, it can be done.  It might not work the first time, or the third time or the eighth time, but each time builds a little more determination.  Eventually, the quitter will succeed.  And, oh, what a lovely feeling that is!

If you're one of the thousands who have given some thought to leaving your smoking behind, check with your doctor and work out the best plan for you.  Just remember the key is had badly you want to do this.  Hey, if I can do it, anybody can. :)  So what are you waiting for?

Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow. ~ Yiddish Proverb

'Tis the Season...for Baseball

While I'm not particularly a baseball fan, it was a part of my life when I was young.  How many of us can there be who don't recall the crack of a bat hitting a ball?  Or the feel of the hard, flat surface of a bleacher in the hot, afternoon or early evening sun?

One of my earliest memories is of my mother, sitting in the old (and I mean old) recliner, with a clipboard in her lap as she watched the World Series on the black & white TV, while she kept a detailed running score of the game.  I don't know what teams played in those games, but I know for most of my growing up years, I was a Roger Maris fan.  Mickey Mantle was a close second.  I also remember Sandy Koufax, Willie Mays, Johnny Bench, George Brett, Hank Aaron, Joe DiMaggio, and Don Drysdale.  Those were the days of baseball.  Of course there were hundreds more, but those were the ones I remember best.

My mom wasn't the only one who watched baseball.  We lived not far from Lawrence Stadium, now Lawrence-Dumont Stadium, which was built in 1934 and has been the home of the National Baseball Congress World Series since 1935.  On summer nights, my dad would attend games there.  My mom would take me, usually in my pajamas and very sleepy, to pick him up when the game was over.  Across the street from the ballpark was a Dairy Queen.  Not the fancy brazier kind there are not, but one where you walked up to the window and ordered.  My mom was a banana split person, and my dad usually ordered a sundae of some kind.  My favorite was a chocolate malt...that I rarely finished and was put in the freezer for the next day.  Frozen DQ chocolate malts are great!  The DQ has been gone for years, but I'm always reminded of it when we go watch my oldest granddaughter perform in the annual ice show or we go skating at the Ice Center (upper left of the stadium in photo), built in 1996.  I've had the pleasure of attending a few games at L-D Stadium over the past 20 years and enjoyed every minute, including the beer that was accidentally dumped down my back by a zealous fan. ;)

Childhood became teen years, and we'd moved to a small town.  I became a Dodger fan.  In fact, like former manager Tommy Lasorda, I've been known to bleed Dodger Blue.  Third baseman Ron Cey was my favorite during those years, but was closely followed by Steve Garvey, Don Sutton, and others.  If I still watched baseball, that would be my team, in spite of KC Royals being only 3 1/2 hours away.  I'll root for the Texas Rangers, too, just because.

When I finally grew up and became a real adult, I went to slow pitch softball games, usually two to three games a week and several weekend tournaments, for most of 20+ years.  I learned to keep score and swore that my backside had to have been as flat as the bleachers I sat on, game after game after game.  There were lots of bleacher tans: shoulders and arms, upper chest and back, and tops of thighs and feet, not to mention my scalp if there was a part in my hair.  I made friends with the wives and girlfriends of players and enjoyed spending time with them on the bleachers.  I learned the rules of baseball and softball, not by playing, but by watching, listening and cheering on the team.  And, oh, the stories I have of those crazy times.  If I had to choose between watching softball or baseball, I'd choose softball in a heartbeat, even in spite of Maris, Koufax and Cey. ;)

So here's my salute to baseball and the boys of summer, complete with a super, upbeat tune and old-time photos that bring back those childhood memories.  Thank you, John Fogarty!

Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.  ~ Author Unknown

PLAY BALL!!! 

Who'll Stop the Rain?

Yes, I'm a Credence Fan.  No, this is not about CCR.  This is about the rain that has been coming down since late Sunday.

Oscar Wilde once said, "Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative."  My response to that?  Oscar had his own set of problems. ;)

Normally, rain doesn't bother me.  I rarely see the need for an umbrella or raincoat or slicker of any kind.  Getting a little damp from raindrops doesn't spoil my day.

We need rain now and then to settle the Kansas dust.  And I'm sure that sometime mid-July or August, we'll be wishing it would rain.  But 4+ days of it?  Isn't that a bit of overkill?

And just why did this sudden drenching of our area have to happen during Spring Break?  It's too cold and icky to send kids out to play.  Mud brown would be the color of the day...all week.  Then there's the risk of them getting totally drenched and coming down with this season's worst bug, just in time for break to be over.  That would be punishing me, because guess whose house they'd be sent to when they're too sick to go to school?  Yeah, that's right.  If truth be told, five kids under the age of 10, cooped up in a small house for 4 days, is an invitation to bloodshed.  I'm just not sure whose blood will be shed first.

Let's face it, I wouldn't have survived the 40 days and 40 nights of the "Great Flood" of Bible lore.  After the first week, I'd have offed myself.  I probably wouldn't do well in Seattle, either, although it's on my Top 5 list of places where I'd consider living.  Still, I like a little rain, and after last summer's drought, it really would be nice to see the river at higher levels.  The wide expanse of sandbars is disturbing.  The benefits of rain, in addition to dust-settling, is nice, too.  Daffodils are in abundance, while the plethora of flowering Bradford Pear trees are breathtaking and something that usually don't happen for a few weeks farther into the year.  At least those things can be enjoyed.  This incessant rain can't.  I should be happy that it isn't snowing, because it's been known to do that...as much as 12 inches.  Ahhhhh, Spring!

Summer will soon be here--the temps did hit 80 before the sky decided to open up and drench us--and there's no doubt I'll complain about the hot weather then, just as much as I'm complaining about the rain now. Honestly, if I'd had the pleasure of just returning from a long vacation in Tahiti (does that still exist with that name?), I'd be jabbering on about the beach and the sun and the weather.  With my luck, it would be raining there, too.

Back to CCR and Who'll Stop the Rain...

Stay dry!  Stay warm!  And wait out whatever weather has befallen you.  It'll change.  On that we can count. :)

Bad weather always looks worse through a window. ~ Tom Lehrer

Just So No One Forgets...

MARCH 8

CELEBRATE WOMEN!

A woman cannot be herself in the society of the present day, which is an exclusively masculine society, with laws framed by men and with a judicial system that judges feminine conduct from a masculine point of view.

HENRIK IBSEN, From Ibsen's Workshop

Keepsakes and Memories

In Memory of Davy Jones and those whose music became a major part of our lives in the 1960s.

Okay, I admit it.  I miss the '60s.  Anybody who paid attention or grew up in that decade of mind-blowing changes has to miss at least something about it.  Me?  I miss it all, even though admitting it makes me old.

Music, politics, the entire culture of the country was changed by those under 30.  Fathers complained about long-haired musicians in bands, and mothers feared what their daughters were doing when not under their watchful eyes.

I was ripe for the influence of those who were changing history.  From mid-grade school to high school graduation, I was a child of the '60s and experienced those changes, firsthand.  In fifth grade and barely into the decade, I remember spending time on the playground at school, listening to music on a transistor radio that broadcast AM radio stations.  Everyone was amazed that a radio could fit in a shirt pocket.  Now, our phones do.  As for music, we can download it to those phones, computers (which used to fill several rooms), and players made especially for listening.

My parents bought our first color TV in 1964.  Even my grown kids still have trouble imagining a world of B&W TV.  In '64, TV shows were just beginning to switch to color.  Bonanza was one of the first, and oh, the color of the green, green grass against the bright blue sky were amazing to see in our living rooms.  It was almost like being at the movies.

It wasn't only technology that had begun to change, but our way of life was changing in huge ways.

• The Berlin Wall was built to keep East Berliners from traveling West
• Martin Luther King began his work to bring segregation to an end
• The Space Race took off like a rocket (pardon the pun) and gave us not only the first humans in space, but the first man on the moon.
• We watched in horror as our President was gunned down before our eyes on TV.
• James Bond aka 007 brought us into the world of spies via movies and a hunk of a hero. ;)
• The Beatles took over music and brought about the British Invasion.
• Woodstock created a gathering place for half a million people to enjoy life and music.
• The Kansas City Chiefs and the Greenbay Packers played what was to become the first SuperBowl.
• Sesame Street was born to entertain and teach our children via TV.

Music changed in big ways.  Rock & Roll, which has roots in the late 1940s and early 1950s, exploded in the 1960s.  From Chuck Berry to the Beach Boys to the Beatles, Rolling Stones and thousands of others, music was our voice.  We identified ourselves by the music we listened to.  If not for the early pioneers of rock & roll and those who followed, music would not be the voice of youth and conscience that it is today.  

As the decade of the '60s began to come to a close, PEACE was on the lips and minds of every American.  From sit-ins and protests against war and segregation to the music that said it all, the end of the '60s ushered in a new beginning for many.

Those of us who lived during those years have memories that will never be forgotten, whether it was the music, the movies, the TV shows, technology, sports or how we spent our after-school time.  If, like me, you have special things that will live forever in your hearts, feel free to share them.  I'm sure they'll spark memories for others.

While doing a little research on my favorite decade, I discovered The 60s Official Site, a (new for me) website that has it all.  But before taking a stroll through memories of the decade, watch Vibration of a Nation, a terrific video on the same site that's more than worth the 25 minutes to watch.

Music is forever; music should grow and mature with you, following you right on up until you die. ~ Paul Simon

Give Me Liberty...or a Vacation

va·ca·tion   [vey-key-shuhn, vuh-]


noun
1.
a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday: Schoolchildren are on vacation now.


2.
something I haven't had for years and years.



Is there anyone that doesn't agree that we all need a little time off?  Certainly not me.  And make that a chunk of time off for me, because at this point in time, a "little" just isn't going to cut it.

You see, I haven't had a vacation---of any kind---since the summer of 2007, and even that wasn't a real vacation.  It was a working vacation.  I attended RWA's National Conference in Dallas.  Fun, yes, because I got to spend time with my friends.  But believe me, a lot has changed in five years.  I'd just sold and finished my first book for Harlequin American, and I've just contract to write books eight and nine.  No, working vacations, even when spent in the company of the best of friends, are not real vacations.

Even when I was married and especially AK (after kids), there weren't a lot of vacations.  For a few years, before the youngest of the four girls was born, we drove to Missouri and spent long weekends at my aunt and uncle's home on Table Rock Lake.  Two to three days of Silver Dollar City was fun, and the girls enjoyed it.  But staying with relatives and trying to keep 1-3 boisterous girls contained proved to be stressful and very UNvacation-like.


Then there were the then-hubby's softball tournaments that I --and sometimes the girls-- attended.  Vacations are not meant to be spent on hard, butt-numbing bleachers or being tied to a tight schedule of games-to-be-played.  In Savannah, Georgia, I put my foot down and insisted the girls and I visited the birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low, founder of the Girl Scouts in the U.S..  In Battle Creek, Michigan, we'd hoped to visit Kellogg's and watch cereal being made, but visitors were no longer allowed.  (Makes one wonder just what they put in those cereal boxes...)  And those were the only two national tournaments the whole family attended.  He said they were vacations.  Uh, no.

My last eight "vacations" haven't been.  Vacations, that is.  Something is wrong with this picture.  My oldest daughter works for Royal Caribbean.  Her working vacations are spent on cruises and in places like the Galapagos.  I've rarely managed to get out of the hotels, except to attend dinners with editors (somewhat stressful) and the always fun Harlequin parties.  But there have been times when I've tried to turn some of those working vacations into more fun than work.  In 2000, I took the Washington, DC metro---alone---to the Washington Mall to see the Vietnam Wall.  In 2003, a writer friend and I traipsed through NYC and I mastered the subway enough to get myself and even others to Ground Zero, the Harlequin offices, and yes, all the usual tourist-y spots, then back to my hotel...more than once.

So here I sit, with no chance of a vacation in sight.  Not this year, at least.  Whether it's time or money, it seems there's always something keeping me grounded.  If I could sprout wings...  Sadly, I can't. But I can DREAM, and if that's all I can do right now, then so be it.  I'll take that vacation...that dream vacation...in my mind.

Islands as yet unnamed in the Caribbean, here I come!  Greece, here I come!  Historical places, here I come!

What and where is your dream vacation?  If you could go anywhere and do anything, what would it be?

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. - Robert Orben

I Wish I Had More Time To...Read

Let's face it.  I miss reading.

Ever since I was a small child, reading has been one of my favorite things to do.  Like breathing, I can't do without it.  But for the past few years, I haven't had as much time to read as I've had in the past.

Oh, I still read.  And my Kindle is loaded with books, just waiting for me to find some spare time.  I finally took the time to create categories for all my ebooks.  There are 16 of them.  Romance has the most, and Classics comes in at a close second.  That's just my Kindle and doesn't count the multiple bookcases I have or the boxes of book that are stored at my ex's farm. I even have a large box of books I've been carting around in the back of the trunk of my car for well over a year.  My plan was to take them to the Art Museum for the book fair at the annual river festival.  They still haven't made it there.

I'm a sucker for used book sales, no matter where.  I use the library, especially during the summer, when I take the grandkids each week.  I can spend hour upon hour in a bookstore, and would spend a fortune, if I had one.

But reading time is limited, what with my own writing, website design, family and friends.  I've tried to build in some reading time by leaving early to pick up my grandkids at school each weekday.  It gains me about twenty minutes, but that's really only enough to whet my appetite.  Sometimes, if I haven't had to stay up late working, I'll read in bed.  But too often, that leads to that drowsy feeling, and after reading the same paragraph more than three times, I know it's time to put book away.

Not only do I love to read, but I've tried to instill that same love of books in my children and grandchildren.  Not everyone is a reader, but I believe everyone can become one, if the right books are found to read.  And if reading is problem, there are always books on tape, so anyone can enjoy the world of words.

Maybe someday, when life slows down and there's time for the best things in life, I'll have the chance to read more.  Until then, I'll simply have to find a way to carve out another hour or two...or three or four...a day to enjoy my favorite pastime.  One can dream, right?

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.  ~ Charles W. Eliot

Love is All You Need

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I'm cheating a little today.  I used the photo on the left on Bits & Bytes, my writers' group's blog, last week.  Why not?  I like it.  And since today is Valentine's Day and this is my blog, I get to choose. ;)

If honesty is the best policy, then I may be in trouble before the day is over.  You see, I don't put a lot of stock in the holiday being celebrated today.  Why do people need a specified day to say I love you?  Why must there be a holiday to give gifts of love?  Why should expressions of love--whether a whisper, candy, a kiss, dozens of roses, or precious jewels--be given on one day a year?  Shouldn't those be things that happen every day?  Okay, maybe not the dozens of roses, but the rest, for sure.

And another thing.  Why don't we have an I Love Me Day?  After all, one should learn to love oneself before setting out to shower it on others, right?  Or have I just become jaded over the years?

Maybe it's because I have a problem with expecting a gift on a day when not giving one is almost sinful that sours me on the holiday.  Thanks to the flower/candy/negligee/jewelry/greeting card and you-name-it industries that make a bundle on a day drenched in red hearts and mushy sentiments, women have come to expect gifts from the men--and others--in their lives.  (Not trying to be sexist, here.  The same holds true for same-sex couples.)  And men, bless their forgetful hearts, sometimes feel the obligation of going out and finding the gift to buy their way into the good graces of the women who truly love them anyway.

Now, someone out there will probably feel the need to point out that I'm probably this way because I've been soured by divorce and all the angst that accompanies it.  Uh, no.  I was soured before that happened.  Gifts given freely and from the heart are a treasure.  Gifts given because it's expected on Valentine's Day are nothing more than commercialism.

If you've managed to read this far without shouting expletives loud enough that the neighbors have alerted the police, calling me all sorts of names and sticking pins in a doll that mysteriously looks like me, or generally swearing never to read another word I've written, you'll realize that much of what's above is not about love, but about one day a year that's been set aside to make sure it's given the honor it deserves.  One day is not enough, folks.  Love isn't heart-shaped boxes full of calorie-ridden chocolate, flowers that the cat may eat, or a piece of jewelry given because it's expected.  Love is about caring enough about someone else to let them be who they are and loving them for it.  Love is being happy because someone else is happy.

I hope this Valentine's Day leaves you with, not only chocolate, flowers, or other glittering gifts, but a reminder that love really is all you need.

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.” Spike to Buffy (Joss Whedon)

Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm a Gemini, and those of us who are under the sign of the Twins are traditionally not comfortable in a rigid, static, seldom changing environment.  That pretty much describes me for much of my life.  If asked, I would say I lose interest in things quickly.  I have a habit of dabbling.  I know just enough about a myriad of things to be dangerous.  That doesn't, however, mean I'm like Ziggy Stardust aka David Bowie over there.  What it does mean is that I can get bored more easily with things than others do.

So there you have it.  Except it isn't so true anymore.  You see, I've caught a case of metathesiophobia.  What's metathesiophobia?  It's the fear of change.  Yeah, really.  And believe me, it took a while to find that word.  Even longer to learn how to spell it!

I'm not exactly sure when this metathes--  uh, fear of change began.  Was it after those four moves in two years that occurred during and after the divorce?  Or is it just a by-product of getting--  uh, maturing?  Whatever it is, it isn't good.  Not good at all.

The world is changing, sometimes at what seems like the speed of light.  Change or the need to change can sneak up on you, then, like a cat, pounce with claws extended to force you to recognize, acknowledge, and accept it.  Yeah, sometimes it is painful, especially if you're not paying attention.

While someone reading this might think that I believe change is bad, that isn't true.  I may be a blonde, but I understand that change is inevitable and, in most cases, good.  Without change, we'd still be living in caves...if we'd survived as humans...and drawing crude pictures on walls while we grunted at each other.

For me at this point in time, it comes down to the changes occurring in the publishing world.  (You can read my thoughts on this at Diary of a Mad Romance Writer.)  Here's where I am with that.

• I recognize the changes.  In fact, it would be hard not to.  
• I acknowledge that they're happening.  To not do so would be foolish.
• I accept the changes.  I understand that these changes can be beneficial in some (or many) ways.

But embracing these changes as my own is where I'm stuck.  Believe me, I dislike being stuck even more than I dislike change.  Even more, I hate not being able to find one of those nifty names for it.  I've been dragging my feet about stepping into the world of indie publishing.  There is a name for that, although it doesn't come from the laboratory.  It's FEAR OF FAILURE.  The biggest symptom?  PROCRASTINATION.  

Being the Queen of Procrastination, I'm personally acquainted with what that's all about.  I also know that I'd like to abdicate my throne so I can move forward into this new millennium while I'm still around, not only to enjoy it, but to do it.  And since I've already mastered those three steps above (recognize, acknowledge, and accept), it's time to take action.  

I've agreed to help a friend indie publish one of her books.

Obviously I haven't take that leap of faith in myself enough to do this myself.  But I am working on it.  In fact, as soon as I post this blog, I plan to face my metathesiophobia and start working on my own project.  Hey, what can I lose except the time it will take?  And at my age, putting things off (procrastination) because of fear of failure (or change), is really kind of pitiful.

So if there's something you've been avoiding for whatever emotional reason, come join me in my battle against this crazy fear of change.  Together we can rule the world!!  Or at least make some headway in our own lives.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Where Do I Sit? or Is This Some Kind of Sign?

 Last night, while I was on the phone talking to fellow author and friend Kristi Gold,  I leaned back in my office chair.  To my surprise, it and I kept going, until chair and I were in a reclining position.  It isn't a recliner.  Normally.  It might have tipped on back completely, if it hadn't been for a large plastic bin that awaits a trip to the attic...or storage shed, whichever comes first.

Maybe it was my fault.  Earlier yesterday evening, I'd sprayed WD-40 on the squeak that was driving me crazy at the base of the chair.  While it wasn't my throne--and far from looking like the elaborate chair on the left--a few months ago I'd given some thought to replacing it.  Still, the chair and I had become comfortable with each other and it wasn't in such bad shape that I desperately needed a new chair.  That has changed.

But a new chair isn't a part of my budget.  My bad for not getting one when it might have been, but who knew?  I'd passed on the old office chair to my youngest, and it wouldn't have been right to repossess it.  As if she would've let me.  There's also an oak captain's chair that I purchased at an auction, long, long ago.  I tried it this morning, first thing, but my desk sits high, and I had to reach up for the keyboard.  Not good when there's some CTS involved.

And then I remembered that I'd recently given some thought to using an upholstered bar chair with arms that I used years ago with a drafting table.  So after taking the broken chair out to the shed to await trash pickup day, I brought in the tall chair from the kitchen where it wasn't really being used, except to hold the dishtowel and an extra roll of paper towels.  It's a tad bit narrow and will probably require using my keyboard on top of the desk, instead of on the pullout keyboard drawer, but adjustments are sometimes necessary.  It's comfy, too, which is a requirement when sitting at a desk all day.  And while it doesn't lean or tilt, that may be a good thing.

Even if I don't have a throne and haven't figured out yet if any of this is some kind of sign--such as the need to lose weight--the question of where to sit has been answered.  At least for now.  Maybe a change in chair will bring a change in luck.  I do like that idea!

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~ Robert C. Gallagher

Blogging is for Everyone! Or is It?

To my surprise, I've been blogging for six years.  Really.  Since late 2005, I've been sharing my opinions, right or wrong, good or bad, wanted or not wanted, in cyberspace.  I don't even know why I started or why I continue, but it's like a bad habit: Very hard to break...even when I have nothing worthwhile to say.

Blogging has been instrumental in helping along some of the changes in cyberspace.  With Facebook, My Space, Google+, Twitter, LinkedIn, Triberr, and who knows what else, the world is shrinking by the day.  No, make that by the hour.  The internet has introduced us to new people and new friends all over the world.  That's a good thing!  But it's blogging that gives the broadest canvas to users, whether bloggers or blog visitors.

No one else in my family blogs.  Or did.  My oldest daughter decided to put her toe in the water and has, in only a month, completely submerged herself in it and (not surprisingly) is enjoying it.  Hey, I was the one who suggested she take a drama class in high school, and she ended up not only getting parts in plays, but earned the job of student director her senior year.  Blogging was made for her, believe me.  Her main topic of most posts?  Make-up and shopping, hence the name of her blog--Diary of a Shopaholic.  She even posted a video she made on how to apply "smoky eyes."  I manage to post YouTube videos.  What can I say?  It's a new world out there for the newer generation.  And at her age, I was the mother of a 2-year-old and a newborn.  Her daughter is 10.

Amazingly, she isn't the only one of my "inner circle" to slide into the blogosphere.  Desire author and longtime friend Kathie DeNosky recently appeared on the scene with a brand new blog.  Kathie has just started blogging and loves to give away books, so don't miss visiting her at Kathie's World.

 And then there's friend and author Kristi Gold's new blog, where you'll discover how magical she is with words.  Within minutes, she'll have you smiling, if not laughing out loud, as she looks at life with her special brand of humor.  But it doesn't stop there.  The three of us--Kathie, Kristi and myself--will begin blogging together on Valentine's Day as the Ditz Sisters.  And if you know us, you know the "ditz" label isn't a joke. ;)  More info when the big day arrives!

I'll be adding a blog list here on the blog, so if you're a blogger, send me a link and I'll add it.  If you aren't a blogger, but you visit them, be sure to occasionally leave a comment to let the person blogging know that you've been there.  Sometimes it seems pretty lonely out there.

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~ Author Unknown

Happy Friday the 13th!

Are you superstitious?  Do you think Fridays that fall on the 13th of the month are unlucky?  Do you have Triskaidekaphobia?  Because if you answer yes to either of those, this is not a good year for you.  Today is only the first of three Friday the 13ths in 2012.

While I admit to being very superstitious about many things, Friday the 13th isn't one of them, nor is the number 13.  In fact,  I like to think of it as lucky, not something to fear.  Yeah, I'm weird.  When I was in high school, many people told me I was...and it never had anything to do with *13*.  Maybe I'll share more on that someday. ;)

But what makes Friday the 13th so feared by so many? I'm glad you asked!

THE HISTORY OF FRIDAY THE 13TH

• Friday the 13th traces back to a Dutch holiday where mischievous children would sneak into graveyards at night and defecate on tombstones.

Some mischievous children needed a different hobby...and attention to their backsides.

• In France, Friday the 13th often fell on the day after the Feast of Saint Imbibecus.  Thus the day was often associated with terrible hangovers and poor choices made the night before.

Leave it to the French with their wine.  Maybe they shouldn't have Imbibecused so much.

• The Aztecs brutally killed 39,000 in one day on Friday the 13th of August, 1539.  This was done at the request of the recently arrived Hernan Cortez, who claimed to be a god seeking tribute.  The next day he overthrew their empire.

Trisky jerk, wasn't he?  

• One source says the number 13 has been unlucky since the Last Supper of Christ, where thirteen people were in attendance.

It's rumored by some that 1 of the 13 was a woman.  And the 13th was the woman, of course.

• Hammurabi’s Code, the first set of state initiated laws, omits the number 13, leading some to believe the superstition dates back to Babylon in 1700 BC.  However archaeologists agree that there indeed was a thirteenth law that was scratched out.  Studies of ancient tablets indicate the law condoned cross dressing of government officials, but was probably removed at the advice of Hammurabi’s aides.

With that in mind, shouldn't the number 13 be feared only by cross-dressers?

• Genghis Khan is said to have tasted his first defeat on Friday the 13th.  This fight between Genghis and five other larger children fueled the inferiority complex which drove him to conquer a continent.

Just goes to show that bullying isn't a new thing and can cause all kinds of trouble.

• Most skyscrapers do not include a thirteenth floor.  Gregory Johnson bravely included a thirteenth floor in his designs for the Empire State Building in New York.  Three days after its completion, on a Friday, the weight of the building caused it to buckle and it crushed the thirteenth floor.  It has been structurally sound ever since.

Not numbering the 13th floor does not change the fact that it is still the 13th floor.

• In London’s summer of 1865, seven prostitutes, two flower sellers, three secretaries and a nun were assaulted on Friday July 13th by a crazy man wearing an athletic mask.  The assailant would jump out of the shadows and present them with literature supporting the Conservative Party.  As the women screamed and tried to run away, they were asked for donations repeatedly, up to 18 times in one case.

Due to two words in this one, I'll skip commenting, but boy did I have some good ones!

• In 1881, a group of New Yorkers started The 13 Club, aimed at removing the superstitious stigma from the number.  At their first meeting on Friday the 13th, all thirteen members walked under a ladder into a room filled spilled salt and broken mirrors.  They all died in a freak accident involving a runaway truck and a rabid wolverine on its way to be put down.

Just goes to show you can only push your luck so far. 

• On Friday June 13th of 1952, Massachusetts Governor Kyle McArthur banned all private automotive transportation on the unlucky day.  Nine overcrowded city buses crashed into each other in downtown Boston.

Maybe it was because it happened the day before my 2nd birthday.  Makes as much sense.  Besides, if it was become of the number 13, wouldn't it have been 13 overcrowded city buses that crashed?

• Billy Ray Cyrus, Bobby Brown, and Michael Bolton all released albums on Friday the 13th.

For fans of the above, I'll leave this one to you. ;)

http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/HOLIDAYS/ 

Fear is the main source of superstition and one of the main sources of cruelty.

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.  - Bertrand Russell 

'Tis the Season for Having the Nasties

I hab uh code.  (translated: I have a cold.)

I feel a lot like the little girl in the picture over <--there  and wish it would go away so I could feel better.  No fever, just a whole bunch of sneezing and blowing and just all around feeling punk.  What a way to start the new year, huh?  I guess I should be thankful that this didn't start until two days ago, so I was feeling fine for New Year's Eve and Day.  Well, pretty much.

New Year's Eve was enjoyable and spent at my oldest daughter's house.  The younger set karaoked to the Glee sing-along on Wii, while the rest of us sat back and provided encouragement.  For me, going out to a wild party to end and start the year took a nosedive years--lots of years--ago.  I don't mind.

Come New Year's Day morning, and I was awakened at 8:15 a.m.  by the guys putting new siding on my house.  It just so happened that they were working on the spot on exactly the other side of the wall from my bed.  Thankfully, I hadn't had any alcohol the night before, so there wasn't a bit of hangover, but that didn't mean it was pleasant.  They finished on Monday, and I breathed a big sigh of relief. Very little was accomplished over the four days they were working here.

Not only was there noise and a sneezy cold, but my car battery kept dying overnight.  My son-in-law was kind enough to get and install a new starter, and we thought that was the end of it...until the next morning (yesterday), when the battery was dead as a door nail again.  The battery is now replaced with a new one, but I'm still holding my breath.

The moral of the past few days is that we usually manage somehow to get through most of the hugely irritating things that come along and happen to us on what can sometimes seem a daily basis.  Today is quiet.  I spent time yesterday evening with my favorite critique group and will be talking with my bestest writing buddies this afternoon.  I couldn't ask for better friends and am blessed to have them in my life.  Car problems or no car problems, cold and sneezing or no cold and sneezing, life happens.  Somehow we manage to move on and find the sunshine.

Here's hoping everyone's 2012 is filled with sunshine and rainbows and the very best life can offer.

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.